good great grand amazing

it is GOOD

when a producer stops as he's walking toward you

shakes his fingers at you and looks as though he's trying really hard to remember something

(in most cases he will be trying to remember your name..)

and then announces that he was just thinking of you when discussing a new show.

it won't be for a year or so, he says.

"but i thought of you right away."

it is EVEN BETTER

when your friend and cast mate

who plays your 8 year old sister

somehow manages to get her bra

(which she was not wearing because we have specific ones for the show)

which happens to be black and lacy

attached to the back of her skirt and does an ENTIRE SCENE

in front of several thousand people

with it hanging off of the back of her.

yep, last night was all around amazing.

<3

it's time for a..

Grateful List!

this is my favorite activity ever!

okay, let's see...

i am GRATEFUL:

1. that i have the freedom to make choices

and then actually make those choices as opposed to becoming indecisive or stagnant.

2. that i'm living my dream every single day

and am in love with my "job".

3. that i have a healthy, strong, sexy body.

4. that i can communicate what i want and what i need.

5. that i will be able to grocery shop and cook in less than a week's time!

6. that i don't waste my time and i don't waste anyone else's time.

7. for my future dog(s) even though i haven't met them yet.

8. that i have the ability to learn whatever i decide i want to try.

9. that i have kind, strong, supportive women in my life.

10. that so many new adventures are on their way to me.

i swear making lists of things i'm grateful for makes my heart fill up and guarantees a great day. it's sort of impossible to focus on anything negative when you count your blessings.

try it <3

what are you grateful for?!

made this at work tonight

a case of the sixes

i am constantly overwhelmed with surprise

at how incredibly quickly i turn into a child

once i'm at work.

(okay, sometimes, a lot of the other time, too.)

the show started at 1 and by 1:05 i was sprawled out on the floor,

kicking my legs and yelling about how i was NOT going on stage

and NO you can NOT make me!

and sporadically giggling in between

because it was just so darn funny to me.

hannah played along, too

and started yelling back how she would drag me on stage by my apron

and i was gonna go whether i liked it or not.

(our poor dressers must really think we're crazy. or six.)

this is when i got the brilliant idea

that i will dress as a child star for next halloween

and just wear regular clothes,

big sunglasses and hold a starbucks cup

and yell a lot and make wild demands.

BRILLIANT, yes? YES.

i also tend to wear a piece of my costume backward

so it resembles a cape (i love capes almost as much as tiaras)

and tear through the hallways

and telling people i am Super Shprintze

or a QUEEN and in that case, i have hannah hold my cape for me.

naturally. queens always have cape holders.

some people aren't in touch with their inner child at all

mine just isn't inner at all.

hmm..maybe THIS is why i never have a boyfriend?

;o)

and, now

the calmness of my heart and mind clearing

(that i have to patiently wait for every time)

just happened this morning.

and now, i remember.

the only choice is love,

we are all so connected

and the little things that affect us

don't matter as much as we let them.

so i will let them go.

today is gonna be so good

i can hardly wait :o)

oh, hey part 2

i know.

you're confused.

you're generally the stupidest person i know

(when it comes to these things)

so maybe this can help:

i'm sitting here

post-party

feeling just awful

when my life is so amazing

i think people would sell their first child

just to trade me.

i shouldn't feel awful.

and generally, i don't.

but tonight was really rough

so naturally i want to pick up the phone and call you

and tell you about it

and hear your stupid voice on the other end of the line

so that i'm guaranteed to feel better

even if the world is literally falling apart.

i said i wouldn't ever really need you

except once in awhile i would

and you said okay, you would be there when i need you.

and you wrapped yourself around me and we went to sleep

and i believed you.

and then you went and pulled the rug out from under my feet

and i'm pretty sure that now i wouldn't be able to find you even i tried to.

i think that you think you didn't do anything.

you may be slightly aware that something is wrong

but probably have no idea why i'm so upset or why i'm not talking to you.

you let me down so far that i have to find my way back up.

you played pretend when i wasn't playing pretend.

i do that for a living, i don't need to do that in my real life.

it may seem like nothing to you but it's everything to me

and it's enough that right now, i'm sitting here, wishing i could call

and i can't.

and because of that, i can't answer you or talk to you or be with you.

and i hate that more than you ever possibly could.

i hate feeling like this.

(but at least i'll go running entirely too much and look really good.

i mean, that's a definite bonus to my heart hurting.)

do you get it now?

oh, hey

note to all men:

when you take your girl for granted

and let her down big time

and, even worse, when you do it via email

the correct thing to do is definitely NOT

waiting two days and messaging said girl

with a random sentence.

don't bother trying to test the waters

to see just how bad things are.

the waters don't want you testing them.

the waters are doing just fine on their own.

you have to fight for what you want.

okay, great.

glad we had this little chat.